I dragged him to marriage counseling and nearly divorced him. I guess I could spend money going to Europe to learn soccer, in hopes of coming back to be a proffesional soccer player. Certainly not for the right to remain unemployed. But the repeated episodes of irrational anger and tantrum throwing are very very difficult to live with. My job bores me, but after reading your blog I see how I need to grow up, go back to work and study at night finishing the degree slowly, so that I can contribute to supporting my three children from my previous relationship, and be completely responsible for my own life. He's worked all 3 shifts, worked in different areas and even managed to score a desk job there, but he eventually hates who he's working with or hates the work and asks to get transferred to another area where everything and everyone is great for 2 months and then he gets pissed off at someone and wants to move again. The article clearly depicts my wife and her childish expectation.
I am the person who kicked him out too, and therefore tottered for a while under a crushing weight of 'blame' but try to stand tall. That right there is obviously a full-time job… and then some! If you are up for reading one of my books, look at Wake Up and Change Your Life. My husband works for a union too and there is some protection in that but if you aren't showing up there's only so much the company can really put up with. I am writing this post after nine years of marriage; this, my friend, is wisdom from hindsight. What intrigues me, though, about this suggestion you make, is how it played out in my case, anyway , the exact opposite.
That is why I keep writing here so often. However since I can't drive the stick shift and take that to work I said he'd have to drop me off at the train station on his way in and I'd just have to wait for the train. I would love to see you get your hands on the information in The Empowered Wife, which outlines The Six Intimacy Skills that can turn your marriage around and have your husband respond to you much better. Write down your current approach and then do the opposite. It was a repeat performance of the earlier incident that she was able to remove my children with.
It is not a game. I am ashamed I am putting up with it. I care, a lot, but I can't fix him and he refuses therapy. It goes back to nurturing a close intimate relationship with God so He leads you and molds you. Then he would come in drunk, slap and knock his wife around, then go pass out on the bed.
It is not my style to get into bed without being married first. Just like when I worked form home he would ask me to run all these guy errands for him where I didn't have a clue what I was asking for. When I tell him that I want more from him emotionally, he tells me that he believes in unconditional love. If he wants to try again, ask how it will be different this time? I am now remarried and struggling with the same kinds of issues a quiet husband and his over-eager talkative wife and I needed this reminder to remain humble and trust the Lord. Rather we were designed by God to be busy both men and women — God wants us to be ambitious. I think you would really benefit from some support.
The children, one of whom ran away that evening seeking help came out with everything they had endured to 3rd party court appointed investigators. You should also keep in mind some people have careers that are all or nothing, and are not family friendly. But recently, i feel like he is still constantly critical of me and the way I do things, tiny things like leave food out uncovered that bugs can get in. We never do things together anymore since he stopped going to church. It means that all it takes to put him in jail, this time on criminal charges, is one bruise, slap mark, whatever. If a man did not provide these three things to his wife — he had to free her.
I have found my voice in you. There must be some kind of wrench or pliers in there that will work for this problem. The Bible never allows a man to divorce his wife because she is not able to have children. Oh, we can talk the talk, but walking the walk? God says that you as wife have a right to be provided for by your husband if he is able bodied. I would also suggest asking open questions: How did we get to this place? I am so sorry you are also going through this too. He gets very defensive if I say anything.
I respect independent women, or women who will actually work again full-time when the kids are older. But if I see it listed as him being on the web and not mobile other than his breaks then I will know he is home. I'm being lied to again and again and I am at my breaking point! No choosing family before fun. Now that you have the 6 Intimacy Skills, you know a lot more than you did when the breakdowns happened. I would ask him for his solution to the future. Both of whom were diagnosed after he left, and both are now medicated with some very good results. I had to back off and quit badgering him.