What does it tell you, Holmes? What did the banana say to the vibrator? Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? Q: How do crazy people go through the forest? Q: What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? I never make mistakes…I thought I did once; but I was wrong. A teenager takes a seat on a bench next to a middle aged man reading a newspaper. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? Q: Why did the birdie go to the hospital? A: A heavy discussion 142. How do you catch a unique rabbit? On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. A man with two left feet buys a pair of flip flips.
. Pepper come in a bottle? A: Because their plugged into a genius! The sommelier hands them the wine list, and Jeanne asks to order the most expensive Burgundy on the list. Q: What did the man say to the wall? When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extemely ugly woman. Q: What did the worker at the rubber band factory say when he lost his job? State has the smallest soft drinks? Girl: No, I have a boyfriend.
What did the green grape say to the purple grape? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train. A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, and so went to his father for advice. A: The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup. A: So he can ho-ho-ho! Boy: No salary, but… Girl: No but. Q: What do you call a funny mountain? A: Because it was cultured. Q: What does a nosey pepper do? Because, it ran outta juice. Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: Stick with me and we will go places! A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a Boo-Boo Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? Q: What bow can't be tied? Suddenly she hears rustling in a thick bush.
A: You follow the foot Prince. A: Show me the honey! A: Nacho Cheese Q: How do you find a Princess? Q: Why did the belt go to jail? Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Because they have their own soul. Then, one day, the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for just one evening. A: Take me to your weeder. Q: Why couldn't the pirate play cards? I hope you guys have as much fun reading this top, as I had writing it. A: I think I'm coming down with something! A: They don't have the guts. If something bad has happenedÂ and you are sitting sad than we can bet with guarantee that after reading these funny short jokes you feel relaxed and happy.
A: The noise gave her a headache 103. I then realized that if I had a hand shoved up my ass my eyes would do the same. Q: Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Q: What season is it when you are on a trampoline? A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street! Why do women have orgasms? A: A Chimp off the old block. Q: Why do girls scouts sell cookies? Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave his cat a bath? Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist? And when I say a color, you run to the left side of the court. A: Your dyslexic Q: What music are balloons scared of? Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? He walks up to the window slowly and asks the man for his drivers licenseand registration.
Q: What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Q: Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store? A: Because he couldn't find a date! What do a woman and a bar have in common? Ten: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. A: They sit next to their fans. Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? After that its not empty! Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? There were two peanuts walking down a dark alley, one was assaulted. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are on a camping trip. A: Because he wanted to see time fly! Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor? The monitor is up on blocks. Also, see my related posts, and Neel Burton is author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions, Hide and Seek: The Psychology of , and other books.
Husband: Honey, do you smell that? A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, and a crab with a whale for a daughter: The Directors of Spongebob were obviously high. Q: What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. A: O I C U Q: What's the difference between a cat and a frog? Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear? Funniest jokes of all times See also:. Did you hear about the party a little boy had for his sisters barbie dolls? Q: Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? A: Every morning you'll rise and shine! A: By becoming a ventriloquist! Q: Where does bad light go? He was looking for Pooh! You can have the duck. A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What do you call a Chubby Midget? They both irritate the shit out of you. Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience.
A: Put it on my bill 123. Girl: Do you have a house. Use of Lots of Jokes acknowledges your acceptance to our , and. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. Q: What does a midget model do? A: To the Baa Baa shop! Q: Why did Tony go out with a prune? Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport? A: They can suck a dick standing up! A: They just use the curb! The other watches your snatch. Q: How do you piss of a midget? Short Funny Jokes- Hilarious Short Jokes 1. Call and tell her about it.
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: A Bed Q: What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast? How many marxists does it take to change a lightbulb? A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. Q: Why did the computer break up with the internet? A: Your dyslexic Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? Shelly again told her mother about her day, including the jungle gym moment. So as an adult I had to step in. How do you make a tissue dance? Q: What do you say when you lose a wii game? See my related posts, and Neel Burton is author of Heaven and Hell: The Psychology of the Emotions, Hide and Seek: The Psychology of , and other books. Q: What kind of berry has a coloring book? Short jokes, sport jokes, relationship jokes through to political jokes our audience have contributed some absolute stunners and they're all below, just click on through! When he heard nothing more , after a bit, he shook his head and continued. ? A: They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns 98. There are twenty of them.
Anal makes your hole weak. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding. Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying? Peter chains them together without saying a word. Q: What did the tie say to the hat? Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. A man laughing his head off. A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar.